


Look into my eyes and you'll see

by spacedust719



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blow Jobs, Comfort/Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 22:54:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21216389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedust719/pseuds/spacedust719
Summary: Ben Hardy tries not to let the crush he has on his costar distract him. It doesn't always go well.





	Look into my eyes and you'll see

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laminy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laminy/gifts).

> I am aware there are probably a lot of similar stories. However, since it's been a year since the movie came out, the plot during filming seemed appropriate.

Ben was tired. Admittedly, this was not a great way to start out filming a movie. Ben was emotionally drained from dealing with a break up after a 9 year relationship for the last few months. The physical exhaustion was from spending the last two months drumming 10 hours a day. He was trying to make it as unobvious as possible that he lied about being able to play the drums. The opportunity to play rock legend Roger Taylor was not one he was going to let slip through his grasp. The constant drumming was not really helping him slim down to play Mr. Taylor, though Ben did easily adapt to not getting up at 6 am to go to the gym. Ben grabs his drumsticks, jacket, and slips on his shoes before heading out the door to go meet the rest of the men playing members of Queen.

The tube was faster than he was expecting so Ben arrived early. He saw who he recognized as Rami Malek as soon as he entered the practice space. Rami gave Ben a quick wave as he continued listening to the blonde woman with her back to Ben. No one else had arrived yet, so Ben sat behind the drums. He was about to get himself worked up about the weight of playing Roger Taylor. It seems more real all of a sudden sitting on the stool seeing guitars and a piano waiting to be played. Ben is nervously playing a beat against his thighs with the sticks when he hears someone stepping onto the platform. Ben looks to the left and sees Joe Mazzello smiling as he approaches. Ben has some doubts about Americans playing British icons. He’s not going to share that with Joe or Rami though. Joe extends his hand towards Ben, so Ben gets out from behind the kit to shake it. After they exchange names, Joe immediately starts talking a mile a minute, “Nice to meet you. Are you nervous? I’m nervous. I’m excited to be working with Rami again. He’s amazing. I haven’t been overseas for a shoot for this long in a while. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been watching Queen videos non-stop. John has an accent I haven’t heard before. I thought the bass was going to be the hard part.” Ben wants to be annoyed at how cheerful Joe seems to be so early in the morning, but something about him is just so endearing. Ben finds himself smiling as Joe continues talking about everything and nothing. “The second I found out they might be interested in me I made my friend give me his bass. I’m getting these cool rock star calluses already.” Joe wiggles his fingers in front of him making Ben laugh, “Anyways, I’m talking a lot. What about you? Accent is not really an issue for you. You’re from London, right? You live with anyone, girlfriend? Boyfriend? Non-romantic friend?”

Ben looks down at the ground for a second before answering Joe’s last question first, “I’m actually looking for a new place. I lived with my ex-girlfriend. She’s staying with her parents till I find something.”

Joe interrupts before Ben can answer more of the questions, “sorry for bringing it up man. We just met too. Fuck, I promise I’m not always this rude.”

Ben laughs lightly, “it’s fine. We had just changed slowly to being friends more than anything romantic. Took too long for either of us to notice we loved each other but weren’t in love anymore.” Ben wasn’t really sure why he was sharing something so personal with Joe already. Something about Joe was just so welcoming.

Joe hesitates for a split second before pulling Ben into a tight hug, “sorry. That’s rough. The apartment, or flat, they are renting for me has two bedrooms, if you need it.”

Something about the hug makes Ben feel an instant kinship with Joe. When Ben squeezes Joe back, Joe starts rubbing his hand up and down Ben’s back. Ben smiles at the gesture. They break apart when there is a knock on the door into the rehearsal space, which is odd because it’s open. Ben looks over to see a head pop out of the shadow. He lets out a small, barely audible gasp. The man that enters is one that Ben has seen on TV before. The one that reminded him he was bi while he was in a 9 year relationship whenever he and his ex would watch Midsomer Murders. Ben knew that Gwilym Lee was playing Brian May. He had forgotten about his crush on DS Charlie Nelson until seeing Gwilym in person. Ben knows looks aren’t everything, but Gwilym is even better looking in person. 

Joe must agree because the first thing he says is, “you look like a fucking Disney prince.” 

One side of Gwilym’s mouth smiles more than the other as he huffs out a small chuckle, “Hi! I’m Gwilym, call me Gwil though.” Gwil extends a hand to Joe. 

After Joe shakes Gwil’s hand, he takes his other arm to pull Ben forward. Ben has been hiding slightly behind Joe. Ben can feel his cheeks starting to get warm and he hasn’t even talked to Gwilym yet. Joe pats Ben’s shoulder, “this is our Roger Taylor.”

Gwil smiles broadly with his hand out to Ben now, “Ben, right?”

Ben knows his cheeks are fully red now, “yeah. Nice to meet you Gwil.” Gwil’s hand feels warm in a comforting way to Ben. Ben just hopes his doesn’t feel as sweaty to Gwil as it does to him. 

The movement coach, Polly, who had just been talking to Rami before, comes over to introduce herself. They start by watching Queen at Live Aid with instructions to specifically watch their character. They spend the rest of the day learning the Live Aid set. Ben is already impressed with how his new cast mates are quickly picking up the movements. Hopefully, Ben thinks, he’s at least keeping up with them. 

The second day is mostly more of the same. They each leave for a short period of time for their individual instrument lessons, but it’s mostly more choreography. They break for lunch and the 4 of them sit on a chair and sofa. Ben is between Gwil and Joe on the sofa with Rami sitting in a chair at Joe’s end of the sofa. When Joe comes back from throwing his trash away, he sits sideways on the sofa and drapes his leg over Ben’s lap. Ben looks at the legs incredulously for a moment before just going with it. He likes Joe so far. Plus Roger and John were best friends for a while, would even go on holiday together, so might as well. It could help their performance. Ben tends to be a little bit more touchy with his guy friends than most guys are so it doesn’t really bother him anyways. He decides to just rest his arm over Joe’s ankles. Joe smiles at him brightly when he does. 

Rami starts telling Gwil and Ben a story from when he and Joe were filming The Pacific together. The way Joe is watching Rami makes Ben wondering if Joe has a crush on Rami, or that maybe something happened when they were filming together to first time. Ben turns to look at Gwil to see if maybe Gwil is catching this too. However, Gwil seems to be already looking at Ben. Ben smiles at him. Gwil smiles back then shifts so his body is facing Rami a bit more, and he puts his arm on the back of the sofa behind Ben. Ben bites his bottom lip as he turns back to Rami, trying not to think about how much he wants to lean into Gwil, or if he can really feel the heat from Gwil’s arm, or how ridiculous it is that he’s already this into Gwil.

They get called back to practice. Before Ben can stand, Joe stiffens his legs, trapping Ben down. 

“Wait!” Joe practically screams, “we should go out to dinner. In the name of bonding and all.”

Gwil smiles, “strictly in the name of research.”

Joe nods, “Oh, of course.”

Gwil reaches a hand out to help Ben stand, “Ben, you in?” Ben nods. Gwil and Joe both look to Rami who agrees as well.

Going out to the pub seems to be good for all of them. It helps Gwilym loosen up a bit around them. Gwilym has been very professional the first two days. Not that others are unprofessional. Gwil hasn’t quite eased into the joking around as much as Ben has with Joe. Rami does a bit, but will turn back to having laser focus the second he needs to. Gwilym has mostly been observing. After a couple of pints, Gwil visible relaxes. His shoulders soften as his wit sharpens. Ben and Gwil get into conversation about how they both got into acting. Joe has been ease-dropping and gets really excited. He makes Gwil find pictures of Gwil’s first TV show. This leads to all of them finding pictures of their awkward teenage years. 

When Joe takes Ben’s phone, he immediately grimaces at the picture, “so you’ve already been this good looking. That’s nice. Good for you.” Joe’s tone is full of sarcasm. Ben laughs and rolls his eyes as he feels blush rising on his cheeks.

Gwil makes a grabby hand motion towards the phone. Joe hands it to him. Gwil looks at the picture, then at Ben next to him, “so, you can sing, play the drums, you’re clever, and you’re good at sport. Plus, you’ve always been fit? I thought you were nice, but this is just rude. Leave some stuff for the rest of us.” Ben bites his lip to try to stop himself from smiling too broadly. After a moment he’s less flustered from their comments and retorts, “yes, how rude of me since you’re both hideous trolls. I’m so terribly sorry.”

Rami is the first to laugh before the others join in. Rami looks at the picture of teen aged Joe again, “personally, I think Joe’s been adorable at every age.” Joe blushes and leans against Rami. Gwil raises both eyebrows while looking at Ben. Ben gives him a small nod. 

The rest of the night is a lot of fun. Conversation switches back and forth between all four of them, and then paired off conversations, usually Gwil with Ben while Rami chats with Joe. Rami notices that it’s almost midnight so they should probably go to be rested enough for another day of rehearsal.

  
  


Ben walks in the next morning to find Joe pretending to be asleep on his drum riser. Ben claps his hands, “oi!” He hears laughing behind him and turns to see Gwil coming in. Ben smiles back at him before turning back to stare at Joe. Joe closes his eyes again as soon as Ben turns back to look at him. Ben just stares at Joe to see how long Joe will keep it up. He hears a click. He laughs when he see that Gwil has just taken a picture. 

Ben decided to try another tacit. He lays down somewhat behind Joe and rests his head on Joe’s hip and closes his eyes. Joe laughs, which shakes Ben’s head. He hears another click of Gwil’s camera.

“Gwwwwiiiiiilllllll!” Joe stretches out the name, “Liam and Polly aren’t here yet. Why are you awake?” Gwil laughs then settles behind Ben. Ben opens an eye to look at Gwil. Gwil seems to sense this and looks up at Ben. Ben takes a deep breath. He didn’t need the image of Gwil’s face down there. Ben closes both eyes tight trying to will the thoughts of Gwil’s face down by his waist out of his mind. His mind betrays him though and changes the mental picture to almost the same image as before, only now neither of them are wearing clothes. Ben could not be more thankful when the choreographer Liam arrives with Polly and Rami.

********

Rehearsals have been very intense, but in a good way. They all want to do justice to Freddie, Queen, and the iconic Live Aid performance they are starting out with. They’ll go through the set multiple times, with Liam and Polly correcting them on when they are looking in a certain direction and how they are moving, all to make it look as exact as possible. Ben and the three guys have quickly developed a close friendship. They all get along remarkably well. They spend their days practicing and then transition to spending their evenings together as well. They usually end up eating dinner at a pub together. He feels like he’s known all 3 of them for much longer than a few weeks. They’ve developed a camaraderie that makes it seem like it’s been longer as well. They usually start joking around and teasing each other as soon as it’s not unprofessional to do so. When the set is cold, they usually end up cuddle together for warmth. Ben doesn’t think he’s doing it on purpose, but he ends up by Gwil most of the time when they are having a group cuddle session.

********

Joe is standing on the riser in front of Ben with his bass slung over his chest. Joe is talking about something but Ben isn’t awake enough to fully listen. He’s also distracted by Gwilym off to the side tuning his guitar. They aren’t even plugged in to play. Gwil tuning his guitar anyways seems very in character to Ben. Joe’s laughter breaks Ben out of his revelry. Ben raises his eyebrows at Joe, “what?”

Joe points over Ben’s shoulder, “the picture of Roger. You have the same hair already.” Gwil comes and walks up to see what’s going on as Ben turns around to look at the picture.

Ben laughs, “should I do the pose?” 

“Wait!” Gwil exclaims. He pulls his phone from his pocket. Gwil holds the phone up but laughs when Ben holds his hand against his cheek. Ben can’t help but laugh along. Ben poses again so Gwil can take the picture. Gwil smiles at his phone, “it’s a good picture.” 

Joe looks over at the photo, “Roger looks great it in.” Ben rolls his eyes.

Gwil laughs, “can I post it?” Ben nods then gets the tag notification a few moments later. 

Ben reads the caption “handsome bastard (and @benhardy1)”. Ben shakes his head and flips Gwil off. 

Gwil laughs heartily, “aww you’re handsome, too Ben.” Gwil's tone his sarcastic, but the wink he gives Ben makes Ben wonder if Gwil means it. Ben bites his lip and picks up his drumsticks for something to distract from his cheeks he knows are starting to turn red. Ben thinks he mostly has his crush on Gwil under control and can think of him as a friend. Then Gwil will do something like this and Ben starts second guessing everything. Ben quickly shuts down his thoughts of Gwil possibly liking him back. As far as Ben knows, Gwil isn’t attracted to men. Ben realizes Gwil hasn’t mentioned being attracted to women either. Perhaps Gwil isn’t attracted to anyone. All the guys are a little bit flirty. Ben likes to think Gwil is a little bit more so to him. That could be wishful thinking, or Ben just looking for it. Ben also thinks he’d probably notice if Gwil was flirting with other people more while pretending he wasn’t jealous of whoever was receiving the attention. 

Ben would be actually jealous. Not the fake jealously they’ve all started trying to make the others feel. Gwil, Ben, and Rami like to “fight” over Joe’s affection. Ben has started to think Rami would win any actual fight. Joe and Rami seem to revolve around each other, like some interpersonal gravity is pulling them together. Ben tries not to smile too big when he notices it. He does wonder if they realize they are doing it.

********

Ben sighs as he walks back into the rehearsal space, flipping his phone in one hand and tapping it against his opposite palm after each spin. He looks over and sees Gwil sitting on the sofa looking at his phone. He relaxes a little because that must mean they are still working on the part with just Rami and Joe they were on when Ben took his phone call. Gwil looks up at Ben, smiles then pats the cushion next to him. Gwil keeps his eyes on Ben once he sits down. 

Ben looks over at Gwil, “what?” 

Gwil half smiles, “just waiting for you to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Ben sighs while looking forward again. He then looks back towards Gwil, “life is weird.”

Gwil nods, “understatement.” Gwil smiles just the slightest bit to not make too light of what Ben is going through.

Ben laughs lightly. He rubs his hands against this thighs before continuing, “that was the movers. All my stuff is moved into my new flat.” Ben takes a deep breath, “I wasn’t expecting to be moving out on my own. Thought my next move would be into a house, with who was probably my wife by then.”

Gwil reaches over to place his hand on Ben’s that is now resting on the sofa cushion in the space between them. Gwil rubs his thumb over Ben’s knuckles, then gives it a slight squeeze, “maybe we should have a housewarming party?”

Ben quirks an eyebrow up at Gwil, “a distraction party?”

Gwil smiles, “I’ll cook. Actually I’m better at baking.”

Ben smiles, “thanks. We have to get a free day first.”

Gwil lets go of Ben’s hand, “maybe I’ll cook for the four of us some night if that’s easier.”

Ben nods twice while watching Joe and Rami, “that would be nice.” He sighs and lets his head fall back against the back of the sofa. 

Gwil does the same, but slightly faces Ben, “would you like me to offer platitudes about something better being around the corner or life turning out better than your expectations instead?”

They get called back to practice.

Ben pats Gwil’s knee, “I’ll let you know. Food sounds good for now.” Ben starts to walk towards the drums.

Gwil grabs Ben’s wrist before he gets too far, “whichever you need. I’m here for both. Just let me know, yeah?”

Ben bites his lip, “thanks Gwil. Appreciate it.”

Gwil smiles, “course.” Gwil pats Ben’s shoulder a couple times then lets it rest there until they reach Gwil’s guitar.

********

They are finally practicing on the actual Live Aid set. Ben can’t really believe it. He knew it would, but it looks exactly the same. Picturing it in his head is not nearly as impressive as actually seeing it. Of course, it’s not quite as impressive since there aren’t sixty thousand screaming fans in front of them. Ben still loves it when he sits down behind the drums on this stage the first time. He picks up his sticks to play quietly. Right away he notices the cymbals aren’t quite how he wants them. Ben gets up to adjust them. He hears giggling in front of the drums. He notices that Gwil is positioning himself to get yet another picture of Gwil mocking Ben for adjusting his drums. Joe is laughing too hard to take the picture at first. Ben just watches Gwil. He can’t help but think how much he’s fallen for Gwil. Even with all the teasing. Ben hopes it’s flirty teasing from Gwil, instead of the friendly teasing he knows Joe does. 

********

They are finally in costume and filming. They’ve been going song by song. They are going in order so the first day they are doing Bohemian. They’ve ran through it a few times. Ben’s drums are getting adjusted by other people because they don’t quite match the pictures from yesterday when Roger was here and said it was off. Liam is teaching a ridiculous dance to Joe and Gwil while this is happening. Part of Ben wants to join him because goofing around with them has made him happier than he has been in a long time. The other part of him is enjoying being a spectator for this. Gwil has looked so graceful acting as Brian and when he’s just being himself. His dancing skills cannot be described that way. Even from behind, Ben can tell he’s about half a beat behind. He wonders how the hell Joe is so good at this before he remembers the Mazzello’s run a dance studio. Ben’s a tiny bit sad when his attention gets pulled away from watching his friends and having to focus on if the drums are correctly spaced now. Or correct for how Roger had them at Live Aid. Ben wants to move them just the slightest bit to fit his arm lengths instead. He resists the urge to fix them this time.

The next afternoon, Joe and Gwil are backstage of the Live Aid set. Rami is filming some scenes with the camera behind him looking into the audience so the other three get a small break since they aren’t in the shot. Ben comes back there carrying a picture that he knows one of them left on his chair this morning. They keep leaving a picture of Joe sitting on Gwil’s lap all over in ideal spots for Ben to see. This is the 7th copy Ben has found in his stuff. Ben smirks as he sits down on the love-seat next to Gwil. Joe is sitting on an identical one across from them. Ben waits until Joe is looking at him because he suspects Joe is the real culprit. Ben smirks again once Joe looks up at him. He starts ripping the picture apart, specifically right between Gwil and Joe. Gwil looks over and laughs before feigning shock for Joe’s camera. When Ben finishes tearing the picture, he places the pieces down on the table, “now it’s perfect.”

Joe shakes his head, “so mature Ben! You can’t stop our love!” His serious expression breaks at the last second. 

Ben looks over at Gwil who is laughing but playfully rolls his eyes when Ben makes eye contact with him.

Joe sniffles. He’s obviously trying to fake tears, “I am just so upset by your actions, I need to speak to my mommy.” Ben and Gwil laugh as Joe leaves to go FaceTime his parents.

Gwil gently nudges Ben with his elbow, “Joe’s tears have nothing on yours from Eastenders.”

Ben groans, “you watched me on that?”

Gwil looks confused, “you were good on it. What’s wrong?”

Ben picks off some fuzz on his black track pants, “nothing.”

Gwil shifts so his body is facing Ben more. He places his hand on Ben’s shoulder, “Are you okay?”

Ben looks up and over at Gwil. Something about looking into Gwil’s eyes just pulls the truth out of Ben. He sighs, “I hated that show towards the end. I felt like a prop. Just good for how I looked without my shirt rather than my acting abilities. I just couldn’t be objectified anymore. I had to get out of there.”

Gwil takes his hand back while he seems to be studying Ben’s eyes. Ben can’t remember the last time someone looked into his eyes this long. Ben is about to smile when Gwil starts to talk. 

“Ben, You were one of the few good actors in the episodes I’ve seen. You always seemed intelligent in interviews before I met you, and that fact has been confirmed since meeting you. You’ve been so kind and friendly to everyone on set. I started opening up because you made me feel welcome those first days. You would be the one to include me in the conversations. You would step to the side making room so I could join you 3 in conversations. Or make room on the sofa for me. Not that you aren’t good looking, but it’s not the first thing I think of when I think of you.”

Ben REALLY likes this. He is a little overwhelmed by Gwil’s kind words. He bites his lip and falls to the side till his head is resting on Gwil’s shoulder. Gwil chuckles and hugs Ben’s head against his shoulder, scratching the side of Ben’s head. Ben lifts his head and looks up at Gwil. Gwil is smiling at him. Ben loves how it always seems like Gwil smiles within a second or two of making eye contact with Ben. Ben always has to smile back if he isn’t already. As Ben looks over Gwil’s face, it feels like the air thickens. Gwil’s eyes seem to flick down to Ben’s lips for a second before Joe unfortunately comes back in, loudly still speaking to his mom on the phone. Ben sits back up straight wondering what would have happened if Joe had stayed away another ten seconds.

********

After they finish filming Live Aid, they have a day between filming other scenes where they do some additional costume fittings and then have rehearsals for more concerts in the afternoon. Ben has been very amused all afternoon. No one has specifically directed Rami to do so, and he knows from his hours of watching concert footage that Freddie used to do it at concerts, but Rami has been hanging off Joe most of the afternoon. Ben hadn’t really thought too much of it until Gwil came over him and whispered that Joe was blushing slightly every time that Rami would touch him. They stopped for a 15 minute break so Ben stood up and stretched behind the drums. Gwil and Rami went to get something to drink. Joe put his bass down and sat on the drum riser. Ben walked around to stand next to him.

He nudged Joe with this toe, “you know. I remember seeing more footage of Freddie hanging off of or dancing around Brian. Do you know why Rami keeps touching you?” Ben raised his eyebrows and tried not to smile when Joe looked up at him. 

Joe was about to answer but Ben’s resolve broke before hand, and Ben smiled at Joe. Joe huffed and flipped him off. Ben laughed outright and Joe is about to respond when just Gwil comes back in. Joe immediate notices, “what happened to Ram?”

Gwil thumbed over his shoulder, “he’s out back, practicing the accent. He’s stressed about tomorrow.”

Joe tapped his toe quickly against the ground, “I’m going to go check on him.” Joe pushes himself up to go outside. 

Ben smirks and mumbles, “you do that.” Joe flips him off again over his shoulder as he leaves, causing Ben to crack up. 

Gwil and Ben chat for about ten minutes before Rami and Joe come back in. Rami looks incredibly relaxed. Ben thinks that it almost looks like Joe has been crying. He takes a closer look out of concern for his friend. 

Joe’s eyebrows pinch together, “what?” 

Ben cracks up because Joe’s voice is scratchy and he realizes what just transpired. “Nothing, mate. I just thought of something.”

Gwil looks between the 3 of the other guys. He doesn’t say anything, but he does randomly turns his back to Joe and Rami. Since Ben is farther back, he can see that Gwil is smiling and Ben knows that Gwil caught on as well.

Rami looks at all of them, claps his hands, and exclaims, “let’s go!” He moves to start practicing again. Gwil turns back around after sharing a knowing look with Ben. Ben really hopes that his growing crush on Gwil isn’t as obvious as Rami and Joe are being.

********

Mike Meyers is on set filming his part today and tomorrow. Ben doesn’t think he’s laughed this much in one day before in his life, at least not while filming. None of them are doing that great at not breaking. Ben normally feels terrible about doing that and is very good at not breaking, but he feels slightly less guilty since he’s not alone in it. 

Rami, as Freddie, takes the record that is on the record player and flings it towards the couch. Gwilym smoothly catches it and flings it back almost directly to Mike. Ben really doesn’t know why he finds this so attractive. Luckily in other takes, Gwil isn’t able to recreate it quite as smoothly so Ben is able to keep it together. 

The next day they are filming, Ben basically has his entire chest exposed. Joe gave him a hard time between takes when his shirt has shifted. Joe pointed at him, “Man, your entire right tit is showing.” Ben blushes and fixes it. After that, Ben thought he noticed Gwil looking at his chest a few times. Ben has been looking back at Gwil both in scenes and between them. Ben looks up before a take to ask Gwil if he wants to come to dinner with Joe, Rami, and him. Before he could ask, he notices that Gwil seems to be looking at the necklace lying on his chest. Gwil suddenly snaps his gaze to Ben’s eyes. 

Gwil looks flustered for a second, shakes his head, then asks, “did you say something?”

Ben bites his lip, “dinner? Rami has a place he wants to try.”

Gwil quickly nods and adjusts his own shirt. 

Ben looks forward towards Mike where he’s supposed to be looking for the beginning of the take thinking for  the second time if maybe Gwil IS attracted to men. He tries not to get his hopes up too much.

********

One Friday before Ben has a morning off, his ex Kat brings their shared beagle Frankie by so Ben can spend some time with her. Ben should have been done filming for the day but it ran over a little bit so Kat leaves Frankie with Joe. Ben walks into his trailer to find Joe and Gwil sitting on the built in couch with Frankie on both of their laps. She has her back legs on Joe’s thigh, while her front paws are on Gwil’s chest and she is licking Gwil’s mouth. Ben is jealous of his dog for a second. Ben has to laugh at her though and her love of being the center of attention.

Gwil smiles at Ben and Frankie takes the opportunity to lick Gwil’s teeth. Gwil pulls back from her, shakes his head, and wipes his mouth off, “it’s been a while since I’ve had a girl’s tongue in my mouth.” Gwil looks over at Ben and winks.

Ben wonders if this is what a stroke feels like. Ben knows he’s taking too long to respond and should stop just staring at Gwil with his mouth slightly agape. Ben composes himself just enough to make a noise he thinks passes close enough to a laughing noise. Frankie hears this and turns around on Joe’s legs, then hops down to run up to Ben. Ben swallows hard and bends down to pick her up. He nuzzles her as he walks to sit in the chair across from Gwil and Joe. 

Joe watches and smiles at Ben, “she’s been good and very sweet. She gave us both plenty of kisses.” Joe looks over at Gwil, “what do you say? Wanna head out and get some food?”

Gwil takes a deep breath, “I can’t tonight. I have a family dinner for my mam’s birthday. I need to get going, actually.” Gwil pats Joe’s knee twice, stands up to walk over and give Frankie one last scratch behind her ears. Gwil coos at her, “good girl.” Gwil then moves his hand to scratch behind Ben’s ear. He uses the same voice to say, “good boy” to Ben. Ben laughs and flips him off. Ben watches as Gwil leaves the trailer. Ben looks over at Joe, who is just shaking his head at him. 

Joe pulls his phone out of his pocket, “Rami is still filming for a bit. You in for dinner?”

Ben continues scratching Frankie in the same spot that Gwil had. Ben is distracted from Joe for a second because Frankie is leaning into his affection, “yeah man. Are you good with take away at my place? I’ve got my daughter and all.” Joe laughs before agreeing to that.

Joe flops down on Ben’s sofa to look at the food delivery choices while Ben gets Frankie situated. Frankie is whining and dancing around so Ben gives her a bone while he gets her food and water ready. 

Joe yells from the living room, “do you want Chinese, Thai, or sandwiches? And how long have you been into Gwil?”

Ben walks out into the living room, Frankie’s bowl in hand and mouth hanging open. He sounds really defensive, “How long have you been into Rami?”

Joe casually keeps looking at his phone, “day one of The Pacific.” He looks up at Ben, “your turn.”

Ben sighs and speaks softly, “day one of BoRhap. I found him attractive before I even knew him though.”

Joe nods understandingly, “what are you going to do about it?”

Ben closes his eyes for a moment and folds his lips into his mouth, “nothing. I can’t.”

Joe smiles, “you could also suck his dick about it.” Ben scoffs and rolls his eyes. Joe shrugs, “Rami likes it.”

Ben rolls his eyes again but grins this time, “I bet he does. I don’t know if Gwil feels that way about me.”

Joe sits up, “I’ll keep my eyes open for signs. Other than the fact that Gwil tries to make you jealous.”

Ben laughs, “you do that too.”

Joe chuckles, “yeah, but I know I’m joking.”

Ben looks at the ground, “thanks man.” He looks back up at Joe, “how long has something been going on with Rami and you?”

Joe immediately looks back at his phone, “I think we should get sandwiches. And chips. Sorry, crisps.”

Ben laughs and walks back into the kitchen to fill Frankie’s bowl with food. He calls out to Joe, “why don’t you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe Thai sounds better.”

Ben shakes his head down at Frankie who immediately starts chowing down on her biscuits. Ben walks back out to the living room and sits next to Joe, “okay, fine. I won’t make you.”

Joe sighs, “I’m so fucking in love with him.” Ben smiles over at Joe. “I have been for a while. Since we were filming The Pacific. I keep thinking my feelings have gone away. Then we get around each other and oh look, there they are, right there again.”

Ben bites his lip so he doesn’t beam over at Joe. He can tell Joe seems stressed about it. He asks softly, “have you told him?”

Joe hands Ben his phone to add his food order. “No, I haven’t this time. He’s so focused. I don’t want to distract him.”

Ben can’t help himself. He decides to get confirmation on what he thinks transpired, “you mean more distracted than giving him blow jobs on set?”

Joe’s mouth falls open and Ben cackles. Joe rolls his eyes, “I usually wait till we are off set.”

Ben laughs for a bit before deciding to be more helpful, “from what I can tell, Rami seems pretty into you as well. Maybe he even loves you too. Has he ever said it back?”

Joe looks at his lap, “not this decade. I told him a few years ago when we were both in LA for a bit. Rami wasn’t in the same place though.”

Ben moves so he can put his arm around Joe’s shoulders. He pulls him in close, “whatever you need, let me know. I can distract Gwil between takes so you and Rami can chat or what not.”

Joe snorts, “that’s not self serving at all.”

Ben scoffs, “oh piss off. I wasn’t thinking of it that way.” Ben looks at the phone and adds his order then submits both their orders. “Food will be here in half an hour.” Ben squeezes Joe close, “I’m sure Rami loves you too. He sure looks at you like he does.”

Joe smiles, “thanks, man. Gwil’s an idiot if he doesn’t like you back.”

Ben claps Joe’s shoulder, “thanks, buddy. What can I get you to drink?”

Ben and Joe spent the rest of the evening entertaining Frankie and talking about all sorts of stuff. By the time Joe leaves, Ben feels like he’s saying goodnight to a brother rather than a friend.

********

The set is relatively calm today. Everyone showed up on time and Brian May isn’t on set today. He and Roger have stopped by numerous times together, and Brian has come by a lot on his own. Everybody loves when they come to set, and they’ve been immeasurably helpful for all of the actors, but everyone gets a little bit hyper with rock stars just hanging out. Ben is waiting for the set to be ready for their next scene. He’s currently sitting in his chair in a giant puffy coat. His hands are out of the sleeves just enough so he can scroll through his phone. He’s distracted by Joe snoring in the chair next to him at the moment though. Ben takes a picture without realizing the flash is on. This wakes Joe up. Joe grumbles before snuggling back into his own oversized coat to fall back asleep. Ben hears laughing to his left. He turns to see Gwil coming back with two drinks in his hand. 

Gwil’s face breaks out into a large smile when Ben looks at him. He extends one of the cups to Ben, “here. You looked cold so I got you this instead of Coke Zero.” Ben blushes.

Joe opens one eye, “where’s mine?”

Gwil just shrugs, “I only have two hands.”

Ben takes a sip of his drink. It’s a caramel macchiato. He’s never mentioned this is what he gets from catering to Gwil. Ben’s cheeks feel warm and Ben doesn’t think it’s from the one sip of his new hot beverage. Ben takes another drink, hoping the coffee cup covers his pinking cheeks, “this is perfect, mate. Thank you. It’s better than when I do it.”

Gwil smiles broadly, “good. I’ll have to get it for you more often then.” Gwil sits down next to Ben, takes a sip of his own drink, then leans towards Ben to look at Ben’s phone with him, “how’s the internet this morning?” 

Ben laughs and leans closer so Gwil can look through Instagram with him. Gwil starts asking questions about the friends that appear in Ben’s feed. Ben starts sharing stories with Gwil. Ben thinks that Gwil might be the best listener. It’s obvious with some people they are just waiting until it’s their turn to talk. Even worse, some people try and one up whatever story they just heard. Gwil doesn’t do that. He asks questions that make it obvious he’s been listening and genuinely wants to know more. He does offer stories once Ben asks. Ben wants to know everything about Gwil at this point even if everything Gwil says and does just feeds into the crush Ben has. Ben decides as Gwil is getting out his phone to show Ben the new pictures of his nieces and nephews that, no he does not have a crush on Gwil. He full on likes Gwil. He wants to be more than friends with him. Joe has woken up by now and asks to see the pictures. As Ben passes him Gwil’s phone, Ben gets a mental picture of Ben and Gwil showing off pictures of their own kids. Ben takes the last sip of his drink before shaking his head to get rid of that mental picture.

********

Ben has drumming lessons after shooting one day so he’s late to meet the guys for dinner. When he arrives, Gwil and Joe are sitting across from each other at a table. Ben is walking up to them unsure which one of them to sit next to. Rami was still on set filming scenes the other guys aren’t in when Ben left so he knows it will just be the three of them. Before Ben can decide, Gwil spots him and pulls out the chair next to him. The dinner seems just friendly at first. However as the night processes, Gwil keeps hitting Ben’s leg with his knee. Ben can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not. Ben knows he’ll blush too much if he tries to comment or ask about it so he just keeps letting it happen. They stay for a while after they are done eating, getting another round of drinks. Gwil relaxes back in his chair. His chair that is a lot closer to Ben’s than when they started dinner. Gwil rests his arm on the back of Ben’s chair. Ben is leaning forward, resting his arms on the table so it’s not exactly around Ben. While Gwil is telling stories, he’ll move his hand so his fingers brush against Ben’s back, or against his arm when Ben turns a bit face Gwil more while he’s talking. Ben doesn’t know if this is on purpose or not either. He tries to discreetly get Joe’s attention to see if he’s noticed it. Once Ben does actually get Joe’s attention, Joe doesn’t catch on to the discrete part and loudly asks “what?” Ben awkwardly just responds nothing and stops trying to get Joe to notice. 

When they are leaving, Gwil gives Joe a hug first, clapping his shoulder a couple times. Gwil then turns to Ben. The hug that Ben gets feels different. Gwil wraps one arm under one of Ben’s arms, but the other hand reaches up and cards through the hair on the back of Ben’s head. Gwil squeezes Ben tightly, swaying slightly. Gwil scratches Ben’s hair a bit before he lets him go. Gwil gives them both a small wave as he leaves. Ben and Joe are both frozen in place. Ben is in a little bit of shock and Joe is grinning like a fool. Ben swallows hard after a few moments and turns to Joe.

Joe snickers, “do you need me to say it?” 

Ben knows he’s implying that Gwil likes him. Ben still has doubts though, “he’s just touchy. He is with all of us.”

Joe rolls his eyes so hard at Ben as he gets his phone out of his pocket the irises completely disappear.. Joe smiles at an alert on his phone, “gotta go.”

Ben smirks, “is it Rami?”

Joe looks at the ground blushing, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

********

Ben has felt keyed up all day. They’ve been filming a fight amongst the band all day about Another One Bites the Dust. Ben is telling himself it’s because he’s been arguing with both Joe and Rami in the scene, especially Rami. It’s definitely that and not that because during the fighting with Rami Gwil is holding him back. Gwil has been touching all over Ben’s abdomen, chest, and shoulders all day. Ben tells himself again it’s the fighting, not touching as they wait for the director to call action for another take. 

Gwil is holding Ben back again this take, then leaves his hand on Ben’s shoulder as he watches Joe play the famous rift. That part isn’t in the script. Ben mentally chastises himself for reading into Gwil’s acting. It’s just acting. Gwil is facing away from Ben, but Ben is supposed to keep watching Gwil. Ben doesn’t think he could look away from Gwil right now unless specifically directed to. Gwil looks back towards Ben and Ben realizes they are close enough to kiss. Ben hasn’t been this close to Gwil’s face before. Ben notices how many different shades of blue there in Gwil’s eyes.

When the director calls wrap for the day, Ben mumbles the word “trailer” and leaves to go to his trailer as quickly as possible. He’s almost there before he realizes he needs to give the wig and clothes back. Ben feels some relief when he shuts the door behind him. He needs more though. He falls back onto the bed in the trailer, closing his eyes as he slips his hand under the waistband of his joggers, wrapping his hand around himself. Ben sighs, thinking “finally. This is what I needed.. Don’t think about Gwil. You need to stop sexualizing him. He’s so intelligent and kind and funny… no Ben this is the same thing…” Ben picks up his pace. “What do I think about… not Gwil… this is your hand… it’s not Gwil’s long fingers… should I think about Joe? He’s cute… no I shouldn't think of anyone I’m friends with.. Also he’s not really working...not attracted to Joe… that cute girl with glasses on the tube reading… is it worse sexualizing a stranger… why am I so bad at this… 70’s Roger Taylor… is this like masturbating to myself right now… tucking Roger’s hair behind his ear before going in…” 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK 

Ben’s train of thought is disturbed. He takes his hand off himself. Ben is only mildly annoyed at Joe coming to get him for dinner. Ben wasn’t really getting the relief he was looking for anyways. 

Ben is all fidgety at the pub. He can’t sit still. He’s still slightly hard in his boxer briefs. It doesn’t help that Gwil is sitting next to him. It really doesn’t help that he smells really good, or that he is genuinely concerned that something is upsetting Ben. Joe orders another round for them all as they are finishing their food. Gwil gives Ben a killer smile. Ben has to excuse himself to go splash cold water on his face. 

Ben is rubbing his face as the door to the loo opens. Gwil leans against the counter next to Ben, facing him. Ben pulls his hands down from covering his eyes, sees Gwil, and huffs a little. Gwil reaches out and places a hand on Ben’s bicep. Ben thinks, oh great more touching.

Gwil gives Ben’s arm a little squeeze, “tell me what’s wrong.” Gwil’s face is really sympathetic.

Ben sighs. He can’t help but giving Gwil what he wants, “ok but you asked.” Gwil scrunched his face up a little, confused as he drops his hand from Ben. Ben continues, “when Joe came to get me for dinner. He interrupted me...having alone time.” Ben widens his eyes at end for emphasis. 

Gwil chuckles, “got it. Just go do it tonight. Or I can leave you to it now.” Gwil takes a step back towards the door.

Ben looks down at the counter, bracing himself against it on both arms, “I..never mind.”

Gwil steps closer to Ben again. He speaks softly, “troubles with it in general? Not just getting interrupted.” He takes another step closer to Ben.

Ben steps back from the counter, “this is embarrassing.” Ben takes a deep breath, “I’ve always had an easier time with someone. I always get distracted by random thoughts on my own.” Ben looks up at Gwil, who’s eyes look darker.

Gwil licks his lips, “do you want help?” Gwil’s voice was huskier than Ben has ever heard it. 

Ben doesn’t get out real words at first. What comes out sounds like “dfahsdjkhvs”. Gwil smirks at Ben and raises his eyebrows. Ben nods his head quickly, “yes.” He swallows hard, “god. Please.” 

Gwil looks at Ben like he’s going to devour him. Ben doesn’t think anyone has looked at him so lustfully before. Gwil places a hand on Ben’s shoulder, lightly pushing him backwards into one of the stalls. Gwil locks the stall then cups Ben’s crotch with his other hand. Gwil turns Ben against the wall as he slides his hand under Ben’s waistband. Gwil uses both hands to pull down Ben’s joggers and boxer briefs. Gwil gets to his knees, face to face with Ben’s fully hard cock. 

Gwil smiles and licks his lips, “good boy.” Gwil braces himself with one hand on Ben’s thigh and the other hand wrapped around the base of Ben’s cock. Gwil licks his tongue around Ben’s tip. Ben doesn’t think he’s ever seen a more gorgeous sight. Gwil is smiling up at Ben a little as he runs his tongue against the underside of the tip. Ben’s head falls backwards in pleasure when Gwil takes the tip between his lips. Gwil is taking his damn time, slowly bobbing his face forward, putting bit by bit of Ben’s length into his mouth. Ben keeps going back and forth from watching and having to look away. If he watches for too long, he thinks he’ll come too early and he wants this to last forever. Ben bucks his hips when Gwil has taken the full length into his mouth. Ben is about to apologize but Gwil moans with pleasure. Gwil works his mouth and hand up and down Ben cock.

Gwil takes his hand from Ben’s thigh and reaches into his own back pocket. Ben can’t really see what Gwil is doing. He’s also too distracted from the pleasure of it all. Ben thinks it might be a condom but still doesn’t trust himself to look down long enough to see. 

Gwil pulls one of Ben’s feet out of his pant leg and hooks it over his shoulder. Ben realizes that Gwil must have a small packet of lube in his wallet because the next thing Ben feels is a cool slick finger rubbing against his hole. Ben looks down at Gwil, still expertly working up and down his cock with his mouth. Gwil raises an eyebrow in question and Ben nods. Gwil inserts his finger into Ben. Ben stifles his moan by biting on his fist. Gwil hums around his cock has he starts pumping his finger. Gwil pushes a second finger in, immediately hitting Ben in just the right spot. Ben runs one of his hands through Gwil’s hair. Gwil leans into Ben’s touch the best he can.

Ben doesn’t last much longer after that. He loudly exclaims, “fuck” as he comes in the back of Gwil’s throat. Ben is panting really hard thinking that is the best blow job he’s ever received.

Gwil stands up, almost chest to chest with Ben, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Gwil smiles, “you’re a little red” and presses a kiss on Ben’s jaw right by his ear. “Come back out in a few minutes.”

Ben washes his face off with cold water for the second time that night. He can’t believe what just happened. He needs to come up with an excuse so he can get Gwil out of this pub and into his bed. Ben needs Gwil to fuck him. Now. 

Gwil is gone when Ben comes out though. Joe said that he needed to go take care of something. Gwil doesn’t answer when Ben calls though.

********

  
  


Ben couldn’t stop thinking of Gwil after he got back home. This was especially obvious when Gwil showed up in Ben’s dream, staring in a continuation of their bathroom exploits. Ben hopes after they talk, they could do that in real life too. Ben really wants to find out what Gwil’s lips feel like against his. Ben can’t really believe he’s felt them on his cock but not his mouth. Ben tries calling Gwil in the morning on his way to set, but doesn’t get an answer.

When Ben gets to the makeup trailer, Gwil is already there. Ben keeps making eye contact with Gwil in the mirror, but can’t read his facial expression. His mouth looks happy but Ben thinks his eyes look sad. Ben starts nervously drumming his fingers on the arms of the chair. His makeup artist cheekily tells him he doesn’t need to start drumming yet. Ben huffs out a small laugh. It’s all he can manage. Ben is beginning to dread talking to Gwil.

Luckily Ben is done right after Gwil’s done. The hairstylist releases him right as Gwil is exiting the trailer. Ben tries not to make it too obvious that he’s trying to catch up with Gwil. 

Once he’s out of the trailer, Ben calls out, “Gwil!” Gwil stops and turns towards Ben, waiting for him to catch up. Ben points to his trailer, so Gwil follows him inside. Gwil stands a few feet apart from Ben once the door is shut. 

Ben scratches the back of his head briefly before stopping so he doesn’t mess up the wig, “where did you go last night?”

Gwil puts his hands in his pants pockets, “I went home. Early day and all.”

Ben is confused. Gwi is acting like he didn’t have Ben’s dick in his mouth less than 10 hours ago. “You didn’t answer my call.”

Gwil shrugs, “I was on the tube.”

“Well” Ben bites his lip, “last night was fantastic.” Ben hesitates because he still can’t read Gwil, who is usually so open with Ben, “I’d like to...”

Gwil uncharacteristically cuts him off, “we can’t.”

Ben takes a step back, “why not?”

Gwil takes a step forward, taking one of his hands out of his pocket, “I want to. I really do. But where can it go? We both travel so much for work. I think we should just be friends.”

Ben clenches his jaw tight so he doesn’t cry. He doesn’t want to have to go back to make up. He knows they’ll have questions. Gwil steps closer, reaches up and strokes Ben’s cheek. Ben pushes the hand away, “don’t. Not unless you want something more.”

Gwil takes a small step back and places both hands behind his back. 

Ben looks up towards the light, blinking a tear away, “so you like me but have already decided it’s not going to work?”

Gwil sighs lightly, “and I don’t think you’re ready for the level of commitment the intermittent long distance would take.”

Ben closes his eyes, “do I not get a say?”

Gwil leans forward like he wants to step closer to Ben again, “I do like you, Ben. A lot… I just… not… can we still be friends?”

A tear falls from Ben’s eye, “I can’t cuddle with you as just friends.”

Gwil gives him a small smile, “we’ll put Joe between us.”

Ben laughs and grabs a tissue to blot the tear, “good idea.”

Gwil reaches forward to put his hand on Ben’s shoulder, “are you ready to go to set? Would you prefer I give you a moment alone?”

Ben takes a deep breath, “I’m good.” Ben looks at Gwil’s hand on him, figuring it will be the last time Gwil touches him for a while. 

Gwil turns and walks to the door, pausing with his hand on the knob. He turns back to Ben, “before we go out there as just friends, can I just say you’ve got a great cock.”

Ben smirks and claps Gwil’s shoulder, “it’s almost as good as your mouth. Fuck mate, I thought I was going to pass out.”

Gwil blushes, “thanks.” He looks between Ben and the door. 

Ben thinks he knows what Gwil is thinking, “it’s our secret.”

Gwil smiles, “were we less obvious than Rami and Joe.”

Ben cackles, “are they trying to hide it? Cause it’s not working.”

********

Ben thinks he’s been doing a pretty good job of hiding his heartbreak. Or at least better than hiding his crush on Gwil because Joe never questions him about it. Joe doesn’t seem to know anything happened between them. Ben is standing in front of a sofa instead of sitting next to Gwil one evening when they are trying to decide where to have dinner when Roger comes up to him. 

Roger put his arm around Ben’s shoulders, and looks at the other three guys, “you mind if I borrow Ben for the evening? I’d promised him a while back we’d go for dinner.” After the guys say of course that’s fine, Roger leads a confused Ben away. Roger had promised Ben they’d go out to dinner, but that already happened.

Roger takes Ben back to his house instead. Roger hands Ben a glass of whiskey from the bar in the corner of the living room, carrying the bottle and another glass in his other hand, “thought you could use a break. This way we get to catch up as well.” They both sit down.

Ben nods his head in appreciation and takes a drink. 

Roger smiles at Ben, “Deaky used to do the same thing for me when I was hung up on Brian after we hooked up.” Ben nearly chokes on his drink which makes Roger chuckle, “figured that didn’t come up in your research.”

Ben is shocked, “Bloody hell, when did this happen?” 

Roger laughs heartily, “early 70s. Late 70s. Early 80s. He would just be prancing around with those long legs of his under the lights. I couldn’t help myself. Things would start up. After a while we’d decide the band was more important. Deaky would take me out to cheer me up. I’d try being just friends with Brian the next day.” Roger topped of Ben’s glass. “I saw your face. I thought you might be portraying me a little too well.”

Ben bit his lip, “I didn’t think it was that obvious.”

Roger poured a little more whiskey into Ben’s glass, “it was almost as obvious to me as the fact that you really started playing drums… I want to guess 2 months before filming started.”

Ben gaped at Roger who started cracking up.

Roger turned to look at a noise that sounds like the garage opening. “Don’t worry Ben. I only noticed because I’ve been playing for 60 years.” Ben hears footsteps of someone coming towards the living room, “plus sometimes things work out.” Brian enters the room and Ben finds himself in shock again as Roger looks back and Brian bends over to greet him with a kiss.

Brian smiles brightly at Ben. “Welcome to our home. I was pleasantly surprised when Rog told me you were coming over.”

Ben composes himself momentarily, “Thank you for having me. I…wow ”

Brian chuckles, “not many people know we are together.” Brian walks around to sit next to Roger. Roger gets up and gets another glass for Brian. Brian gives him a soft kiss on the cheek when Roger hands it to him. Roger puts his arm around Brian and claps his own knee with the other hand, “I’m not making dinner. Do we need food or is whiskey enough for your sorrows Ben?”

Ben laughed while Brian turns to Roger with an amused but exasperated look on his face, “you asked Ben to dinner without the intentions of feeding him? I’ll go whip something up.” Brian walked towards the kitchen to make some dinner.

Roger watched him leave before turning back to Ben, “I hope you like vegetables.” Ben can’t help laughing. “Brian and I worked out eventually. Maybe you and his clone will as well. If not, I’m here for you to talk to. I’ll be here even if it does work out.”

********

Ben has an easier time going back to being friends with Gwil after talking with Roger. He still tries to avoid being right next to Gwil when the four of them do things like get cozy all on couch. 

Gwil is also really easy to be friends with. Ben would love for them to be dating right now. He also can see Gwil’s point of it being too soon for the serious commitment a relationship would take between them. They both have filming projects lined up after BoRhap and Gwil’s is all the way in Australia. 

Ben thinks things have basically returned to normal after about a week of Gwil and him being slightly awkward around each other. 

Gwil comes back from catering one morning with two coffee cups. He hands one cup to Joe and puts the other in the cup holder of his own chair. Ben is sad, remembering the perfect coffees that Gwil used to bring to Ben regularly. Before their bathroom dalliance, Gwil would always bring him something to drink whenever he went to get something for himself. Ben just looks down at his lap so Gwil doesn’t notice any sadness on his face. Ben sees a coke zero in his line of vision. He looks up to Gwil, who is giving him a soft smile. 

Ben takes it from him, grinning, “thanks.”

Gwil smiles bigger, “back pockets of jeans come in handy.”

********

Ben is in makeup one morning before everyone except Rami. Ben chuckles to himself when he realizes Rami is asleep while they put the prosthetic nose and makeup on him. Ben relaxes in his chair while the artists start working on him. 

Due to where the makeup artist was standing, he didn’t notice Gwil come in and sit in the chair next to him. Ben just looked up to find himself making eye contact with Gwil in the mirror. They share a small smile before Gwil’s is broken by a large yawn. Ben laughs as Gwil tries to shake himself awake. The makeup artist moves to Ben’s other side, which allows Ben to reach over and hand Gwil the coffee Ben had gotten for himself. 

Gwil sighs, “you’re the best, Ben. Total lifesaver.” Ben feels himself blushing. He knows the makeup artist does too because she’s smirking down at him. Ben is distracted from feeling embarrassed about it because he makes Gwil make an awkward noise.

“Barlugh” Gwil slightly grimaces, “this is so sweet mate. I know I’ve made it for you but have never actually tasted it.”

Ben teases, “well, if you’re going to complain, I’ll have it back then.”

Gwil twists it away from Ben, “no no. I’ll drink it.” He gives Ben a large smile, “It’s almost as sweet as it’s maker.”

Ben turns to stare at Gwil.

Gwil groans a bit, “that was too cheesy for this early.”

Ben can’t help laughing, “it was! Thanks, though.” Ben is dismissed by his makeup artist so he gets up to go get his costume for the day. Gwil reaches out to hand him back his coffee. Ben holds up his hand to block it, “it’s yours now.” Ben turns away from him to leave the trailer. 

Gwil calls out, “seriously Ben! You’re the best!”

Ben looks over his shoulder to see Gwil beaming at him. Ben feels himself blushing for the second time before 7 am. Ben passes Rami on his way out, who is giving him a knowing smile. 

********

  
  


Ben is scrolling through his phone while he gets lipstick applied when he hears Joe cackling nearby. 

Joe calms down for a second to take in Ben’s full appearance. They are all dressed in drag today to shoot the I Wanna Break Free video scenes. Joe snorts, “I really thought you’d be hotter. I’m not into this as much as I thought I would be. You’re so pretty as a man, figured you’d be smokin as a woman.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “fuck off, grandma. You look more like Deaky than usual.”

Joe laughs again before taking a picture, “this is my new phone background.” Ben is done getting made up, so he follows Joe out to the set. They end up behind Gwil who is shuffling to set in his bunny slippers and a red robe that Brian brought for him that says “Brian Harold May” on the back. 

Gwil turns around to see them and sharply inhales. Ben smirks when he notices Gwil’s pupils dilating as he looks Ben up and down. Ben does a little twirl and his skirt lifts up enough to show the garter belt he’s wearing. Gwil jaws stiffens. Ben giggles and winks at Gwil as he goes to his mark for the first scene. Gwil tightens his robe around himself and follows after Ben.

Both Gwil and Ben are shooting in the kitchen part of the set first thing. Since Ben first put on the “Rogerina” costume this morning, pretty much everyone has made a comment about how hot or pretty of a woman Ben makes. Gwil is the only one that hasn’t said anything about it. Ben has noticed that Gwil keeps looking at him though. Between takes Ben needs to adjust his socks. Gwil is standing in front of the refrigerator to Ben’s left. Ben turns so his back is to Gwil before he bends at the waist to push the one sock down and pull the other up. Ben looks around his leg and sees Gwil is checking out his ass. Ben smiles because this was his exact goal. Gwil’s line vision changes to Ben’s face. Ben winks at Gwil when they make eye contact.

Realizing what Ben is going, Gwil scoffs, “oh piss off!” then he smiles at Ben.

Ben cracks up and stands back up. 

During dinner that night, Joe can’t help but continually make comments about how much hotter of a woman Roger was. Ben is just watching him go on amused at the whole thing. 

Joe sighs and drums his fingers on the table, “your thighs are just too big to pass as a woman. Roger was much more convincing. Prettier.” Ben is about to tell him he passed as an old woman better but Gwil quickly comments.

Gwil almost sounds annoyed, “Ben is prettier.” Gwil’s cheeks are slightly pink as he looks down at the table after blurting out. Ben can’t help smiling over at him when he realizes Gwil used presence tense.

Joe quirks an eyebrow up at Gwil, “oh yeah?”

Gwil sits up straighter, “yes.” All signs of embarrassment leave his face.

Joe looks between Ben and Gwil, “alright.” He looks over at Rami next to him in the booth, who is smiling at Joe. “Agree to disagree then.”

Gwil’s eyebrows pinch together, “also, Ben’s looks are the least impressive thing about him.” Gwil sounds defensive.

Joe almost looks embarrassed now. He holds his hands up with his palms to Gwil, “you’re right. I’m sorry.” Rami starts talking softly to Joe to break up the slight tension. 

Ben nudges Gwil with his shoulder, whispering, “thanks.”

Gwil nods, then reaches over and puts his hand on Ben’s knee, squeezing it. Ben bites his lip. Gwil starts to remove his hand. Ben subtly shakes his head. Gwil smiles softly and leaves his hand on Ben’s knee. Until their food comes, Gwil traces shapes on Ben’s knee and leg. Ben is simultaneously sad and relieved when Gwil needs his hand back to eat. Ben was just starting to get his feelings for Gwil under control, or at least better at ignoring them.

********

Ben is confused. Gwil has started being affectionate with Ben again. He’ll put a hand on Ben’s shoulder as they walk, or sit closer than really necessary on the sofa while putting his arm around Ben rather than resting it on the back of the sofa. Ben tells himself when they always end up sitting next to each other it’s because Joe and Rami are trying to be by one another, but part of Ben knows that’s not the full story. Ben just lets it happen. Maybe since a couple more months have passed since they hooked up, Gwil has changed his mind about Ben being ready for commitment again. Ben thinks he is ready for a relationship again but gets too nervous about Gwil rejecting him again to bring it up. Ben also just really wants to know what Gwil’s lips would feel like against his own still. It’s like he can feel his lips heavy with anticipation of a kiss whenever he’s around Gwil. It’s really not helpful when Gwil, as Brian, touches his mouth frequently.

********

The last day before they have a break for American Thanksgiving, Ben and Gwil aren’t in a scene, so they are hanging out in Gwil’s trailer. Gwil is reading a book and Ben is texting one of his friends on the couch. Ben is waiting for a response so he lays down with his head next to Gwil’s thigh. Gwil looks down at Ben questioningly.

Ben smiles, “‘m sleepy. Waiting for a text.” He wiggles his phone before letting it rest on his chest. Ben squirms a bit trying to get comfortable. He sighs, “yours isn’t any more comfortable than mine without a pillow.” 

Gwil silently adjusts his position to make room for Ben’s head on his lap. Gwil pats his leg in invitation. Ben tries not to look too excited. 

Ben relaxes with his head in Gwil’s lap, softly sighing with his eyes closed, “I’m glad you’re not as boney as young Brian.”

Gwil chuckles under his breath, “both of us have a little too much thigh for our roles.” Gwil switches his book to his other hand and starts carding his fingers through Ben’s hair. Despite it being a wig, it still feels really good to Ben.

Ben smiles, “that’s going to make me fall asleep.”

“Shhhh. I’m reading. Go to sleep.” Gwil winks down at Ben.

Ben laughs, “thanks”

Gwil scratches Ben’s scalp, “welcome. Now shhh” 

Ben smiles and closes his eyes. Gwil continues brushing through Ben’s hair even after Ben has fallen asleep.

********

  
  


Ben has been off for 5 days and feels all out of sorts. He always feels a little off for a few days after a project wraps but this is just a week long break. He misses being around the other 3 guys. The only times he’s felt like nothing is wrong is when Gwil and he were texting. 

When he wakes up on Friday, he immediately reaches for his phone to call Gwil. It’s Gwil’s birthday, which warrants more than a text. Gwil’s uni friends had planned a birthday dinner for him that night. Gwil invited Ben, but he didn’t want to impose. Ben smiled when Gwil answered right away.

Ben cut him off as soon as he could tell Gwil answered, “Happy Birthday!” Ben felt like he’s screaming.

Gwil chuckles, “thank you! Please come to dinner tonight.”

Ben bites his lip and smiles to himself, “spend time with your friends. They haven’t seen you recently, I have.”

Gwil scoffed, “that doesn’t mean I don’t want you there too.”

Ben rolls over so his face buried in the pillow, hiding his blush from no one, “we can celebrate tomorrow.”

“What about after?” Gwil sounds hopeful to Ben.

Ben rolls over onto his back again, “tonight? Won’t it be late?”

There was a long pause. “I want to spend my birthday with you.” His voice was soft.

Ben swallowed hard, “do you want to grab a pint after?”

“We are going for dinner close to your flat.” He’s incredibly curious who’s choice it was to eat close to where Ben lives. It’s not close to where Gwil lives.

Gwil has been initiating conversations with Ben during break as much as Ben has been starting them. Gwil has also been the one who usually touches Ben or hugs him before they all leave for the day. It gives Ben an idea, a potentially very risky idea. He takes a deep breath, “Do you… do you just want to come over when you’re done?” He sits up in his bed, “we can decide what to do then.”

“Yeah yeah.” Ben can hear the smile in Gwil’s voice. “That sounds perfect.”

Ben smiles, “Happy birthday Gwil. I fully expect to hear how you’ve had a great day when I see you later.”

Gwil laughs then pulls a mock serious tone, “yes, sir!” He uses his normal, cheerful voice to tell Ben, “I’ll text you to let you know about what time we’ll be done. Can’t wait to see you.”

Ben rubbed the side of his face that didn’t have the phone up to it, “yeah, Gwil. Me either.” 

********

Ben has nervously been doing chores all evening. He’s anxious about what he has planned for when Gwil comes over later. It’s a big risk but he thinks he can get away with saying he’s just joking if Gwil doesn’t react favorably. 

Gwil continued texting Ben throughout the day, sending pictures of the presents and cards he’s received, letting him know he was the first of his friends to call him, and tries to get Ben to come to dinner a few more times. Ben almost gives in but really wants to go through with his plan. It won’t work quite as well if he goes to the dinner. Denying Gwil something he wants, especially on his birthday, is harder than Ben thought it would be.

About 9 pm, Ben is sitting on his couch trying to read and second guessing himself when he gets a text from Gwil. They are eating pudding, and he suspects he’d be at Ben’s about ten if that is still alright with Ben. Ben tells Gwil he’s looking forward to it. Gwil responds with a selfie that includes a few of his friends with the message “I wish you were here. My friends want to meet you.” Gwil telling his friends about Ben enough that they want to meet him finalizes Ben decision to go through with the plan. He goes to take a shower before Gwil comes over.

Ben just buzzed Gwil into his building. Ben runs his hands down the front of his barely buttoned white shirt. He had nicked the skirt he wore as Rogerina. He tucked the shirt into it. He doesn’t have the tie, or any other accessories, but figures the skirt is the important part. He takes deep breaths to calm himself as he waits for Gwil to get to his door. 

Ben is standing just far enough from the door so when Gwil knocks and Ben tells him to come in, the door doesn’t hit him. Gwil knocks on the door what sounded like the beat to We Will Rock You. Ben chuckles and tells him to come in.

Gwil’s jaw drops open when he sees Ben. He mumbles, “fuck.”

Ben smirks and winks at Gwil, “Happy Birthday.”

Gwil takes one large step to be chest to chest with Ben, grasps Ben’s face in his hands, tilts Ben's face open towards his, and kisses him hard. Ben pushes up onto his toes to better reach his mouth, holding onto Gwil’s jacket to steady himself. 

Gwil shuts the door with his foot before backing Ben against the wall. Ben moves his hands to Gwil’s neck. Gwil runs a hand slowly down Ben’s chest to his hip, giving it a squeeze. Ben moans softly, so Gwil uses that opportunity to lick into Ben’s mouth. 

Kissing Gwil is better than Ben imagined it would be. Their mouths fit together really well. Their tongues move together like they’ve been doing this for years and not for the first time.

Gwil moves the hand still on Ben’s cheek down Ben’s side, around his hip, over his ass, and runs his fingers along the hem of the skirt on the back of Ben’s thigh. Gwil bends down to he can pull that leg to his hip, and ruts against Ben. Ben breaks the kiss to moan. He can feel Gwil’s cock growing hard against his stomach. Gwil pats Ben’s leg still on the ground. Ben thinks he knows what Gwil wants him to do. Gwil pats his leg again. Ben slightly jumps so Gwil can bring Ben’s other leg to his waist. Ben tightens his arms around Gwil’s neck. 

Gwil pulls Ben away from the wall, carrying Ben into the living room, and he sits on the sofa with Ben straddling him. Ben is impressed Gwil could carry him and keep kissing him at the same time. Ben realizes how much he likes how much bigger Gwil is than him. Ben feels more turned on than he already was. He grinds his hips down, moving further up Gwil’s lap. Ben runs his hands into the hair on the back of Gwil’s head as he kisses him more. He slightly pulls the hair as he lightly grinds his hips against Gwil’s again. Gwil matches his thrust, their hardening cocks would be brushing against each other if they’d taken their clothes off already

Gwil breaks their kiss, leaning his head back as he slides his hands up Ben’s thighs, “I’m an idiot.”

Ben is saddened by this. He instantly worries Gwil is going to stop this again. “No you aren’t.” 

Gwil brushes a hand through Ben’s hair, “yes I am. I’m in love with you.”

Ben is hurt. He knew Gwil hadn’t thought it was a good idea for them to date but this is much worse. He can barely look at Gwil, “you’re an idiot because you’re in love with me?” He moves to get off Gwil’s lap.

Gwil holds Ben’s hips tight, pulling Ben back to him, “No! Of course not.” Gwil lifts a hand to run his thumb across Ben’s bottom lip, “I’m an idiot for saying we couldn’t be together and trying to pretend I’m not in love with you.”

Ben kisses Gwil back hard, running his hands through Gwil’s hair, more gently this time.

Gwil moans softly, “I knew you were hot before we met, but getting to know you, knowing the smart and gentle man you are… I’m in love with you.”

Ben beams down at Gwil, “I’m in love with you, too.” 

Gwil looks like he might have tears in his eyes, “be with me.”

Ben kisses Gwil’s neck, mumbling against it, “I’m trying to.”

Gwil laughs lightly. He cups Ben’s face again, “no. Be my boyfriend.”

Ben licks his lips and nods, “absolutely.” Ben returns to kissing Gwil’s neck. Gwil tilts his head to the side to give him better access as he rubs his hands up and down Ben’s sides. 

Ben pulls back, slightly pouting, “I can’t mark your neck and I can’t mark your chest either because Brian never learned to button his fucking shirts.”

Gwil laughs as he undoes the only 2 buttons Ben buttoned on his own shirt, “we’ll be done filming some day, love. And on that day, after you’re done marking up my chest, I’d like to mark your neck back.” Ben feels his whole face and chest turn red. “Seeing you in those chokers.” Gwil kisses along Ben’s collar bone. “They were really working for me.” Gwil kisses up to Ben’s mouth.

Ben kisses back for a few minutes before removing Gwil’s jumper. Ben starts unbuttoning Gwil’s shirt next only to find a plain white shirt under it, “bloody hell, how many shirts do you have on?”

Gwil smirks as he pushes Ben’s shirt off his shoulders, “so sorry, love.”

Ben crawls off Gwil’s lap and stands by his feet.

Gwil gazes up at Ben lovingly, “you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

Ben ducks his head and bites his lip, “doubt that’s true when you see yourself in the mirror everyday.”

Gwil rolls his eyes and reaches for the back of Ben’s knees to pull him back to his lap. Ben swats Gwil’s hands away. He reaches out for Gwil’s hand, “my bed has more room.” Gwil stands to follow Ben. Ben smiles at Gwil over his shoulder. Gwil playfully smacks Ben’s ass.

Ben grabs his lube and a condom out of the bedside drawer, tossing them on the bed. He turns around to face Gwil. Gwil unbuttons his jeans, pushes them down, and steps out of them. Ben unzips the skirt and lets it fall to the ground. Gwil’s eyes darken. Ben puts his thumbs in the band if his boxer briefs, “how do you want me?”

Gwil licks his lips, steps forward to brush Ben’s cheek. “No Ben, it’s my fault this is delayed, how do you want it?”

Ben slides his hands into the back of Gwil’s boxers, resting his hands on Gwil’s cheeks, “how about me on my back and you on top of me?”

Gwil kisses Ben’s neck and up to his ear, talking between kisses, “good. I want to look at you… kiss you...while I fuck you.” Gwil nips at Ben’s earlobe. 

Ben steps back from Gwil. He pushes himself up onto the bed, “it’s been a while for me.”

Gwil pushes down his boxers, adding them to the pile of clothes next to Ben’s bed. He crawls onto the bed and between Ben’s legs that are open for him. He kisses Ben’s cheek, “I’ll go slow.”

Gwil kisses down to Ben’s jaw, to his chin, then down his neck. Gwil then moves to kiss down Ben’s chest, stopping to kiss both nipples. Ben closes his eyes when Gwil flattens his tongue against the first one. Gwil lightly bites the second nipple and has the audacity to laugh when Ben gasps.

Gwil lightly kisses the nipple, “sorry, darling.” 

Ben runs his hands through Gwil’s hair, letting them rest on the back of his head as Gwil starts kissing down Ben’s abdomen. 

When Gwil gets to Ben’s hip, he reaches up for the lube. Ben’s whole body feels warm at the prospect that he’ll feel Gwil inside him soon. 

Gwil spreads some of the lube against Ben, chuckling when Ben shivers. He kisses Ben’s hip before coating his finger with more. Gwil kisses from Ben’s hip to the base of Ben’s cock. Ben’s cock twitches in anticipation. Gwil kisses up the shaft as he presses a finger into Ben. Ben groans in pleasure. Gwil moves so he can hold Ben’s dick up and take the tip into his mouth as he starts pumping his finger in and out slowly. Gwil increases his pace of both his finger and mouth on Ben. Gwil takes as much of Ben’s cock into his mouth as he can. Ben pushes Gwil’s hair back and Gwil moans around him. Ben can feel his orgasm growing quickly, much quicker than he wants it to. He props himself up on his elbows.

When Gwil slides another finger into him, Ben gently pulls Gwil off his dick, “I’m going to come if you keep doing this.” 

Gwil twists his head to kiss Ben’s palm that’s resting on his cheek, “can you come twice tonight?” Gwil puts more lube on his fingers.

Ben nods, “yeah.”

Gwil smiles, “good.” He pushes three fingers into Ben.

Ben moans loudly. His head falls back, “fuck Gwil.”

Gwil increases the pace of his fingers and takes Ben’s tip back in his mouth. Gwil focuses on the tip of Ben’s cock while he hits a really good spot and Ben starts whimpering in pleasure again

Ben isn’t really sure he’s saying real words. He knows Gwil’s name keeps slipping past his lips. 

Ben tries to push Gwil off him, “Gwil.. gonna come..” Gwil just takes more of Ben into his mouth and swallows as Ben comes down his throat. Ben collapses against the bed.

Gwil keeps his fingers in Ben the best he can as he moves up to kiss Ben’s neck, “I love you.”

Ben pulls Gwil to his mouth, talking against Gwil’s lips, “I love you, too” 

Gwil smiles, “you feel open enough to me, how do you feel?”

Ben kisses Gwil, “I need you in me.”

Gwil kisses Ben softly, “let me know if it hurts at all.”

Ben holds Gwil against his mouth, kissing him roughly. Ben is already getting hard again. He can hardly believe he’s about to have sex with Gwil, who is now his bloody boyfriend. His boyfriend who loves him. Ben knew the feelings he has for Gwil have grown into love but was trying to ignore them since he thought Gwil didn’t want any of this. 

Gwil breaks the kiss to sit back on his knees, stroking himself lightly. Ben sits up and follows him. Ben grabs the condom, opens it, and rolls in onto Gwil. Gwil’s head falls back as Ben pumps him. 

Ben kisses Gwil’s chest, “so handsome.”

Gwil smiles. He cards his fingers through Ben’s hair, “may I fuck you now?”

Ben smirks, “it’s about damn time”

Gwil playfully pushes Ben’s shoulder so he falls back on the bed, but follows him to kiss him sweetly. Ben spreads his legs further apart for Gwil.

Gwil adds a little bit more lube for good measure and lines himself up. Ben tilts his hips to give Gwil a better angle. Gwil starts to push into Ben. 

Ben takes deep breaths as Gwil kisses his chest, slowly easing into Ben. Ben tilts his head back as he stretches around Gwil’s cock. Gwil wiggles his hips when he bottoms out, “I’m in.”

Gwil presses soft kisses against against Ben’s throat, giving Ben a few moments to adjust to the stretch. Gwil kisses under Ben’s ear.

Ben moans softly, “you can move now. Not that this isn’t lovely.”

Gwil smiles and pulls his hips back slowly. He opens his mouth as he watches Ben react to him thrusting back in slowly, slightly snapping his hips at the end. A small “oh” leaves Ben’s lips. Gwil thrusts back in again, a tiny bit faster.

Ben moans, “oooohhhhh… but that’s better.”

Gwil chuckles and increases his speed slowly. Ben tries pulling Gwil in to kiss him, but they are both panting too much for it to work too well.

Gwil rests his forehead against Ben’s, “god Ben, you feel so fucking good.”

Ben only gets out, “uh huh”

Gwil kisses Ben, “I want to do this forever.”

“Yeah” Ben moans. “Me too.”

Gwil thrusts deeper, harder. Ben lets his head fall to the side. Gwil takes advantage and kisses Ben’s neck. Murmuring, “I love you..so much” against it.

“I love…” Ben groans at a particularly well placed thrust, “love you too.” 

Gwil pulls Ben’s legs up his waist a little more and fucks into him faster. Ben is a mess underneath him. Ben feels like his almost bent in half. Gwil is filling him up so well. Once Gwil has Ben steadied around his waist, he takes Ben’s red, leaking cock into his hand, pumping it slightly faster than his hips pound into Ben, “come with me Ben.”

Ben can only nod in response. Gwil’s hips get slightly erratic. He tries slowing them to hold off his own orgasm until Ben spills onto his hand and tightens around Gwil. At this, Gwil spills into the condom. 

Gwil release Ben’s legs and slowly lowers them both against the mattress. Gwil lazily kisses Ben till both their breathing slows. Gwil holds the base of the condom and pulls out of Ben.

Gwil rolls onto his back, “this is the best birthday ever.”

Ben laughs and swats Gwil’s chest, “I have a present for you if this wasn’t enough.”

Gwil rolls onto his side. Ben looks over at him. Gwil caresses Ben’s face, “your love is more than enough.”

Ben feels himself blush. 

Gwil kisses Ben, “be back.” Gwil goes into the bathroom to discard the condom. Ben gets up to follow him. 

Ben turns on the shower. He smiles at Gwil when he turns to face him, “fancy a shower, and perhaps a blowjob? Only fair we both come twice.”

Gwil holds Ben’s hips gently, kissing him again, “if I come again, I’m going to pass out for sure.”

Ben swallows hard, “do you… I have room… if you’d like to spend the night.”

Gwil kisses Ben again, pulling Ben’s hips against his, “I’d love to.”


End file.
